Ignore The Banter…Intimacy

Intimacy. We hear the word intimacy all the time. When you do an image search on the word intimacy you immediately see the physical definition. It is usually two people, holding hands, embracing one another with arms wrapped tightly. The reality is that most of us imagine the physical aspect of intimacy.

Yet I have been on a journey of another sort. Intimacy with my self. I have created my own ritual that allows me to be alone with my mind, my breathing, and with the flow of life. A quiet time in the day that allows me to just be silent. To listen to the present, the gifts of this moment, and to the beauty of my life. I then move to reading something, anything. At times it is something about the business world, other times it is poetry, other times it is fiction, and yet other times it is a children’s book from my childhood. Included in my reading is a daily passage from a series of religious books as well.

At first I found it difficult. I found plenty of excuses on why I couldn’t find time. I was too busy, I was traveling, I had deadlines. Yet the more and more I began to fight to find the time to be alone, to be silent, and to read I moved from finding it difficult to craving it. I began to know myself. I began to understand my drive. My purpose. My passions. My inner voice of my heart.

I developed an intimate relationship with myself. I was willing to embrace my thoughts and wrap myself in the silence of my own love. I began to listen to me. The more I began to listen to myself, the more I began to ignore the banter of the criticism of the world, the cynicism of life, and the opinions of others.

In turn, I was able to listen to those important in my life. To learn, understand, and to see them. It wasn’t about looking at people, it was about seeing them. Seeing them as they are in the present, understanding their story of the past, and seeing the opportunities in their future.

To me intimacy is something very different.

To me intimacy is not about the physicality between two people. Intimacy is letting your walls down, giving a key to those doors that we bury and lock for no one to see or enter to someone else. Intimacy is ignoring the world as it beckons you and giving your undivided attention to one person. Intimacy is when you share your privacy with someone. Intimacy is when you share your dreams, aspirations, trials, and failures with another person. Intimacy is who you call or message first about your day or your feelings. Intimacy.

Intimacy is ignoring the banter of yourself, the world. Intimacy is finding your whisper and sharing it with someone else.

Ignore the banter.

Ignore The Banter…Simplify

We need to keep things simple. Most importantly, we need to keep our opinion of ourselves as simple as possible.

To become a simple person, we need to act and speak in a complete synergy with what we think and desire. We need to be able to stand up and say to ourselves, and to those around us, this is who I am.

I am nothing more, and I am nothing less.

So often in our daily lives we beat around the bush, we tell little white lies, we share half-truths, and we speak in generalities. We do not speak clearly or in a transparent manner.

If we are well intentioned, honest, and speaking from the heart, then why all the work to hide it? Why are we choosing to hide who we are and what we think? Why do we choose a more difficult route to hide ourselves versus just simply being who we are? Why do we choose to add stress and complexity to our lives?

I think pride gets in our way. We have an inflated view of ourselves. We exaggerate who we are and what we have because we want to be the center of attention. We want others to like us and accept us. We seek the praise or acknowledgement from others that we tend to boast and add to what we have done or currently are doing.

We complicate our lives by not admitting that we sometimes do things poorly. That we are not always 100% perfect. We are not willing to go unrecognized, without applause, unrewarded, or without praise. We fear not being noticed. We fear not being seen.

We add complexity to our lives when we do not admit our limitations and when we take ourselves too seriously.

Pride prevents simplicity.

Ignore the banter…Simplify

Ignore The Banter…Write The Moment

How many times a day are we in the middle of a conversation with someone else and are interrupted? How many times a day are we trying to get a simple thought out and our minds become occupied with another topic, a new thought, or another interruption?

I have been noticing that a majority of the interruptions are not productive. They do not add any value to what I am doing at this very moment.

Some interruptions are to remind me of the past.

Some interruptions make me consider what will come in the future.

Yet all that matters is this very moment.

Once this moment is gone, it becomes a kernel in time that is already written along with my past. The future is yet to be written, but I can only write by making a choice now.

I have a responsibility to make the best choice now. At this very moment. I need to be present in the now. I need to focus on what is in front of me, those I am with, the words we exchange, and listening to my whisper. Listening to the little guiding light that points me in the right direction.

When the distractions arrive, ignore them. Distractions are more banter trying to keep you from realizing your full potential in this moment.

The past shapes us. It is what we decide to choose in this moment that defines us now, and now, and even now.

Let the past be written. Let the future write itself.

To live right, I have to write in the now.

Ignore the banter, and write the moment.

Ignore The Banter…Meaning of Happy New Year?

Happy New Year. Happy 2015. I wish you Happy New Year.

Everyone you meet after Christmas and as the first of the year comes, whether in real life or virtually, you stop and wish good fortunes in the new year to come.

But what do we really mean?

Do we mean that we wish a year full of happiness? A year free from illness, pain, trouble, anxiety, and stress? Do we mean that we want everyone to flourish and prosper? That we want everyone to smile? That we hope everyone gets a promotion at work, that the news on TV is always good, and nothing unpleasant ever happens?

What makes it a good year to one may not necessarily make it a good year for another, right?

Or does making it a good year mean making the most out of each day?

Does it mean that no matter what happens, good or bad, that we make the choice to react positively?

For me personally, I wish to other what I hope for in myself.

That as each day begins, when faced with choices, no matter good or bad circumstances, that I make the most out of each opportunity. That I choose to act and do my best, to take another step towards becoming a better version of myself. That when I make a poor decision, and I fall or step in the wrong direction, that I pick myself up and course correct. Immediately.

I wish that when I lose, I chose to react in a manner that allows me to win.

Ignore the banter…Happy 2015!

Ignore The Banter…Don’t Be Afraid

How many times do we get an idea to do something and then the “but” sets in…

but I didn’t write it down;

but I didn’t articulate it verbally;

but I didn’t explore the idea more;

but I didn’t share it with anyone;

but I didn’t make it actionable.

The “but” is when we choose fear. How many times do we allow the fear to paralyze us? The fear stops us. We allow the fear of being wrong prevent us from the opportunity of being right.

Falling of the edge of a cliff and dying, that is danger. Danger is real.

The choice to jump out of a plane, that is fear. Fear is a choice.

I choose to share my crazy ideas, thoughts, and concepts for impacting people, healthcare, and delivery models. I believe in myself. My ideas may not always be successful, but at least I am willing to take the chance to be wrong.

Failure is just one iteration away from success.

Ignore the banter, choose to not be afraid. Choose to believe in yourself.

Ignore The Banter…Brrr It’s Cold

Opening the door first thing this morning and letting the dog out to go potty I was hit with the cold temperatures of Wisconsin. Brrr. It immediately made my eyes open up, my heart start to beat, and woke me up from my sleep walking.

I wanted to go curl up in my flannel sheets, but I just couldn’t fall back to sleep.

I was wide awake. Thoughts began to run through my head. Ideas about new topics, things to write, and what to do for the week coming up since I am on vacation.

It reminded me of clarity.

Clarity is when we have an idea about something specific, and everything seems to fall in place, and we have a laser focus.

Clarity is like waking up in the morning, opening the door, and being hit with the bitter cold of Wisconsin.

It instantly wakes you up. It clears the cob webs. Everything surrounding the idea just seems to make sense. It becomes easy. All focus zero’s in on that specific subject.

I love when clarity hits, it allows me to ignore the banter.

Ignore The Banter: The Grey Factor

Many times in my life I have been told I am too young, too inexperienced, too little “grey factor” or too little time working professionally.

I have been told by many people that my ideas are a bit too crazy.

Somehow in the midst of all those conversations I have always remained true to my inner voice. That it is okay to see things differently, to be open, and to see life as full of infinite possibilities.

Perhaps I was able to identify, articulate, and believe in my personal story before most of my counterparts. Perhaps I was working towards my personal story all of this time, and others didn’t see beyond the moment. Perhaps people told me I was crazy because I was following what I knew to be my personal story, where as others were choosing to live by the rules.

Maybe?

All I know is that I am filled with love and happiness because I know the purpose of my life. I am here to change the status quo, to provide a voice to important topics, and to bring empathy back to humanity. In doing so, I make mall positive impacts in my part of the world.

To me, it’s all about Ignoring The Banter….

 

Ignore the Banter…Selfless Love

Love is not a black thing or a white thing. Love is not a female thing or a male thing. Love is not about being right or being wrong. Love is not about less than or more than. Love is not about changing someone. Love is not about owing.

Love is selfless.

“True love is an act of the will…a conscious decision to do what is best for the other person instead of ourselves.” ~Billy Graham

Yet how many times do we pause and ask ourselves before we do something, “What is in it for me?”

Love is all about giving. It is about giving without the expectation to receive something in return. It is about sharing who we are with someone else. Love is all about the intent of giving without the requirement for reciprocation.

If we all stopped to give a little bit more of ourselves on a daily basis and didn’t expect anything in return…imagine the impact.

Imagine the power of that change.

Ignore the banter. Follow the whisper.

Ignore The Banter…Why?

This is a quote from one of my good friends, Mr. Henry David Thoreau

I was reminded of this yesterday when I answered the phone and heard my mother in a distressed voice. She said to me between the tears that she just placed my grandfather onto hospice.

My mind instantly begins to comment on the severity. My mind thinks: not again, not another loss, not during the holidays, it has not even been a year since the last passing of a loved one, why now, why here, why?

I happen to be away from my mother to offer her immediate comfort and support. As others begin to find out they too begin to comment on where I should be, for me to leave, for me to go, for me to excuse myself.

I walk away to quiet the banter of the world, the dialogue in my mind, and to find silence.

The answer then appears to me,

“It doesn’t pay to question the ‘why’…I must accept that I am exactly where I am supposed to be at this very moment, in this very spot. This is an opportunity for me to good for others. If I run, I lose. I am here to suck the marrow out of life, out of this very moment.”

We often want to focus on the ‘why’ of a situation.

The only thing that ever comes after ‘Y’ is ‘Z’. Instead of asking the ‘why’ try to focus on all of the other opportunities sitting before us at that very moment. Pick one and change the world

Ignore the banter.

Ignore The Banter…I’m SO

I’m so…pick a negative thought.

Ugly, slow, fat, stupid, unworthy, broke, failure.

We are bombarded with negative thoughts and comments all the time. Magazines, Face Book, News, TV, Movies. Coworkers, acquaintances, family, and strangers.

At each turn, we are getting hit with another negative comment. We are told something negative so often it becomes a commentary in our own mind. It plays as a continuous repeating loop in our head.

The worst possible outcome is that we begin to believe. We begin to see ourselves negatively.

Next time when you look into the mirror don’t see the banter…

See yourself. See the beauty that is you.

Ignore the banter. See the whisper.